Thursday, May 10, 2012


You’re flipping through the channels while folding laundry, making dinner, or getting ready to go out and then… *FLASH* -- as if Will Smith showed up and neuralized you, 2 hours have gone by. Why? Because one of THOSE movies came on. The ones you can’t turn away from, even though you’ve seen them a bazillion times. Even though you own them on VHS, DVD, Blu-Ray, and the little mini version on your phone.

Yes, I still want to touch Miss Vaughn's hiney.

No matter what you’re doing, even if you’ve already missed the first 25 minutes, you’re sucked in, every time.

They’re not always classics. They’re not always agreed upon. But they’re yours. And you just can’t NOT watch. So, what are mine? In no particular order:

Moneyball – I love baseball. I love movies. This is one of the best in giving me both. It’s an obviously recent addition to the list, but I shit you not, I’ve already seen it 27 times.

New Jack CityDude. Early 90s. Crack epidemic. NYC. Color Me Badd. Judd Nelson as a crazy hip-hop cop. Chris Rock as Pookie the crackhead. Ice T saying “I want to shoot you so bad, my dick is hard.” And Wesley Snipes as Nino Brown is mesmerizing. Period. Mario Van Peebles is SO hamfisted in this one, but DAMNIT, it works. And not a day goes by that my wife and I don’t quote it. Rock-a-BYE, baby. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve seen this, but it’s in the double digits, for sure.

The Social NetworkThis is one of the rare movies that I saw twice in the theater. And at almost $20 a pop in some cases, that’s quite the investment. Great writing, great acting, excellent music, great humor and emotion – actually very similar to “Moneyball” in that respect. And every time the movie starts, I cross my fingers that Mark won’t be a complete dick to Erica Albright (especially since two years later she ended up being a better hacker than him AND could rape him in the butt) – and that Justin Timberlake won’t be a dick to EVERYONE. One day on Starz, I literally watched it 2.5 times. Clearly, my wife wasn’t home. And now, I’m humming “In the hall of the mountain king.” Well played, Trent Reznor.

Coming to AmericaRemember when Eddie Murphy was funny? Well if you don’t, please check in at the Zamundan embassy to see this one again. The Soul Glo on the couch. Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate. McDowell’s and their “Big Mick.” Are you kidding me? Even when there are literally 10 minutes left, I sit, rapt, not to be disturbed. If I had to rank these flicks, CTA would EASILY be number one. So go, now, see it, you diseased rhinoceros pizzle.

Major League – Jobu. ‘Nuff said.

Star Trek (2009) – I didn’t realize until after the first time I watched it that I was holding my breath because I SO wanted it to be good. And thank GOD it was. So I saw it twice more in the theater. And now, Chris Pine as Kirk and Zach Quinto as Spock actually make me excited to be a Trekkie again.

MotherOh, Albert Brooks. This was actually a toss-up between “Defending Your Life” and “Mother.” They’re both great, but until I actually DIE, “Mother” hits much closer to home. This one only recently got into double-digit views. I could be opening Christmas presents, and if “Mother” is on, it can wait. Debbie Reynolds, I love you. Two words: “Protective Ice.”

Office SpaceDo I really have to explain? Really?

Billy MadisonI HATED this movie the first time I saw it. I actually yelled at my best friend for talking me into spending my hard-earned, just-out-of-college money on it. But now, it’s my go-to flick when I need a smile. Classic Adam Sandler, before he started doing… hell, I don’t know what the F he’s doing with his career now. The best part is that you can just tell he didn’t care if anyone liked the movie. He just wanted to do it. Oh yeah…Miss Lippy’s car is still green.

The Dark Knight I still marvel at the storytelling in this flick. It’s rare that a comic book movie makes you forget that it’s a comic book movie. But I just can’t turn away when Bale and Ledger go at it on screen.

Galaxy QuestGreat cast. Great humor. And great spearing of any and all Star Trek fans. Oh yeah, and, Sigourney Weaver’s boobs.
That’s the rant.

So, what are yours? I’d love to hear, especially the quirkier ones and what events/dates you’ve missed to sit and watch them. Let’s do this.

I bet you liked that "Men In Black" reference, didn't ya?

Now you can...
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Anonymous said...

Wild Things
Just an awesome movie. Bill Murray is awesome in this and he might not be one of the top five best things about this movie. Should be required watching for any heterosexual man.

A Few Good Men
THIS is Rob Reiner's best movie. Every minute of this movie is good. Very quotable, and I'm not even talking about Nicholson's infamous monlogue.

My Cousin Vinny
Probably the most often quoted movie between my wife and I

The Breakfast Club
I am child of the 80s....

The Goonies
See above

Anything during Eddie Murphy's apex--I don't think I need to explain this to you.

I had a few others on this list, but then I started editing and thinking about this even more--it's an amazing phenomenon--when the "rewatchability score" is higher than the overall movie score. What is that about? None of the above fit (their movie score is very high), but I think all of the below do...

Varsity Blues (the quintessential example for this category)
The Program (what is it about football movies that make them so rewatchable)
Indecent Proposal
Ford Fairlane

And then you have to consider scenes from movies that will make you stop, even if you have to wait a few minutes for that scene
-The rumble scene in Anchorman
-This is going to come across as gay, but the last ten minutes of Ever After
-When Thomas Crowne puts the painting "back"
-The "reveals" in Oceans 11, 12, and 13

I think that's enough for now. I've spent way too much time thinking about this already...

Anonymous said...

Obviously, anytime there's a Star Wars movie on (even Episode I, hello Liam Neeson), all else gets tossed out the window. Except for the ending fight scene of Episode III - it's too much to see ObiWan and Anakin trying to kill the hell out of each other. I can't take it.

Clue: A classic ensemble piece, deadpan, and funny as hell. I saw this in the theater with my family and thought it was amazing then, too.

The Princess Bride: is there anyone who doesn't love this movie?

The Hunt for Red October: this one is a gem anytime I come across it when it's on TV. Great story, great acting, and I love Bart Mancuso's character. heck, I love them all.

Mean Girls: a new addition to the "watch it anytime it's on" grouping of flicks, but it holds up. Lizzie Caplan is hysterical, and Lindsey Lohan is actually watchable. and, surprisingly, sort of likeable.

Agreed: the new Trek was amazing. I loved this movie - everyone just frickin' nailed it. Hell, even Sulu was a badass, and Chris Pine and Zack Quinto knocked it out of the park.

Ocean's 11. loved every minute of this movie.

And some new favorites that are twisted and fun but never, ever are shown on cable: Stardust (screw Good Fellas, THIS is DeNiro's best role) and Mirrormask. Both are collaborations in some way with Neil Gaiman, and Mirrormask is partly animated, and produced in collaboration with the Jim Henson company, so you know it's edgy and fun.

-Julie Knaus