As a parent of two actual humans, there are few things that piss me off more than someone calling themselves a “pet parent.” The only parents a pet has are those of the same species that had sex in a river, up in a tree, or in some dark alley after sniffing each other’s butts. Period.
As a human, you are their owner. Their caretaker. Their trainer. Their master. BUT YOU.
ARE NOT.
THEIR PARENT.
Now I know a lot of people feel differently, and I’ll openly admit that I’m, not, nor ever have been, a “pet person.” I see pictures of puppies and kittens and I shrug. Why anyone would voluntarily invite an animal into their home that eats, poops, and has no prospects for contributing to the household is beyond me. Another mouth to feed, and all they do is bring stick back that you’ve thrown away? No thanks, I’m good.
But that’s not my point – I’ve got no beef with pet owners. If you like pets, if you LOVE pets, that’s great – I hear they’re good for companionship and $100k-winning funny videos and customizing your furniture with a layer of dander. Bully for you. Love your pet. Dress your pet in goofy looking Christmas sweaters. Whoop-dee-do. And don’t get me wrong. There’s no denying that as living, breathing creatures, they’re part of the family – the family pet.
What gets me are the people who compare their dingy furballs to my children. You’ve gotta be effing kidding me. It’s an insult to anyone who’s had to go through pregnancies, miscarriages, adoptions, and the like, not to mention all the parents actually RAISING REAL CHILDREN. And then, when these people actually HAVE children, they refer to the pets as their SIBLINGS? Uhm, NO. And how do you think your kids feel about growing up being equals with a being that has to go outside to pee and would gladly eat its own poop? Hell, if the animals could talk, THEY wouldn’t even agree.
Unless your last name is Duggar, you didn’t give birth to a litter. They’re not your children. They’re not. Unless you routinely pop your kid in the nose with a newspaper, or stick him or her in a crate all day so you can go to work.
That’s the rant.
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1 comments:
AMEN!!!! You nailed it, IMO.
"Dogs are the new kids" is one of the new modern stupid-isms that just drives me bazonkers.
While I feel for folks who want to have kids but can't, I'm also thoroughly tired of prissy, fussy kid-phobes gushing about the latest antics of their "fur baby," and equating them, in terms of both value and workload, to actual humans.
Having had both, I know better. Not that you need to have had both. Thanks for your plainly spoken insight!
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